“The Ways I Feel in the Dark” is the newest album from South Carolina R&B/neo-soul singer, rapper and stand-up comedian CerVon Campbell. A follow-up to 2018’s “When the Moon Became a Sunset”, this album finds CerVon re-visiting familiar topics like love, fame, heartbreak and depression.
On the subject of his previous album, its title is referenced at the bookend of the opening track “Validation” which incorporates a genuinely beautiful duet between CerVon and singer/acoustic guitarist Sydney Schizzano. Its opening refrain in particular – “10:51….51….51 / I have nothing, have no one….have no one…. to go to” – peaked my interest, as it promised (at first) a dark, moody, 17-track listening experience from “Validation” onwards. Instead, what the album delivers is more akin to a personal nighttime playlist: a selection of songs for your nocturnal listening pleasure to listen to – in solace.
The overarching theme of the album is emotional solitude, with a majority of tracks centered on feeling alone, both in and out of a relationship. Sometimes this loneliness translates into motivation to become successful, if only for a finite period of time, like on the song “Howboutnow?” with its catchy, mantra-like hook (“I got money, I got fame/ from success, they know my name/ I done changed / What does it take / Take for you to miss me?”) That single-minded focus can go as far as distancing yourself from those unconcerned for your life and future, like on the rap banger (one of a few on the album) “Emptyfriends”.
Even in a relationship, emotional solitude can leave a negative, lasting impact, like on the tracks “Lovebug” and “Shalom (A Sad Song to Smile to) where CerVon wallows over his failure to keep an already-failing relationship afloat and doubts his own place in his significant other’s life. Of course, it can lead to one blaming the other for the failed relationship, or in the case of the bluesy, guitar-assisted track “Gomn” (which easily has the most scornful, confrontational lyrics on the album), putting the blame somewhat on oneself (“You think you too bad, but bitch, I’m worse”). And it’s this failure that not even money, fame, cheap thrills and drugs can overcome, which is evident on the album’s melancholic, self-loathing climax “Voices”.
Thankfully, there are a few upbeat, laid-back tracks on “The Ways I Feel in the Dark” which help lighten the emotional load of the album whilst exploring its theme in witty, usually cynical, ways. “Dreamgirl”, for example, finds CerVon in the early stages of a new relationship with a few disagreements here and there (like that one part where he gets mad when his girlfriend-to-be pauses the movie he’s watching) and self-aware moments where he questions his self-satisfaction in the relationship in advance (“I beat the p***y up, but I never hit a woman / But I sure look good in my…..wife beater”). Over the bouncy, tropical house-tinged beat of “Illuminati”, CerVon charismatically beckons his girl to give her “heart, soul and mind” over to him, hence the song’s admittedly clever title.
Interestingly, the album concludes with “Rest”, a hazy, hypnotic track where CerVon prays for his deceased loved ones. A startling contrast to “Emptyfriends” where he arrogantly rapped “Ain’t no friendship, ain’t no relations”, this track finds CerVon in a state of solace, where not only he thinks about others (though departed) in a genuine, meaningful way, but he expresses his hope to be with them one day. For a project based on nocturnal thoughts based on oneself, “Rest” is a true high point on the album and a solid way to bring it to a close.
As for flaws, the album does have a few issues with regards to production and album sequencing, the former I assume is unintentional. The beeps on the second half of “Validation” (which honestly felt like placeholders of some sort) almost derailed what was already a fantastic duet. On songs like “Volcanoes N’ Antarctica” and the aforementioned “Gomn”, a brief gap or two in-between sung lines are removed, disrupting the flow of the song’s rhythms. In terms of album sequencing, I felt the hip-hop based tracks “Emptyfriends”, “Danger!!!” (one of the BEST tracks on this project, thanks to its intense beat and energetic delivery from CerVon) and “Boujee” were pushed to the first half of the album, and could have been spaced out further into the second half, giving them more breathing room in-between the R&B cuts.
Flaws aside, I still wound up enjoying “The Ways I Feel in the Dark” for what it was. CerVon’s penchant for emotionally-driven songwriting, concepts and lyrical deliveries shines throughout this project, along with the excellent guest performances from Sydney Schizzano and Vitakiri (who appears on the 90s R&B-evoking track “Secret”) and some ear-grabbing, appropriately moody production. If you’re looking for a laid-back, R&B/neo-soul album (with a few dashes of head-nodding hip hop) to vibe with and chill out to, I highly recommend giving this album a listen.
OVERALL RATING: Strong 3 ½ to a light 4 out of 5 stars.
BESS TRACKS: Validation, Howboutnow?, Untitled, Emptyfriends, Lovebug, Danger!!!, Boujee, Dreamgirl, Secret, Illuminati, Cover Up, Gomn, Voices, Rest
LEAST BESS TRACKS: Shalom (A Sad Song to Smile To), Grey, Volcanoes N’ Antarctica